The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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