call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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