fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
