I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
