you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
