last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
