This house was built for laser tag.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
