if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
