sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
