Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
