how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
