he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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