if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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