How'd it feel making her break her religion?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
