I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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