Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
