i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
