So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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