Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
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