what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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