what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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