Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
