everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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