the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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