i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
