HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
