The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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