Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
