She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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