The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
jump out the window naked night went bad
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
