Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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