haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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