Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
