This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
