We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
