i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We just shotgunned beers for America
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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