my mouth tastes like poor choices
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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