In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
