in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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