Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
