It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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