i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize