Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
