Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm just crazy horny about you
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
