So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
