How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
