That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
