Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
