my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
