Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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